So on Sunday night I hunkered down (thanks to the net I was only 2hrs after the official debut) to watch the mess that is Whitney, and see what this new (diverse) cast had to offer.
You have to excuse me, but I’m still having a hard time replacing my eyes in it’s socket and washing my tongue out with soap!
Is it me? Have I gotten that prudish that I think that Whitney’s bedroom romps are borderline pornography? [f*** borderline, it is exactly that in every country in the world] I mean I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, but W-T-F?!!!
Sorry I can’t help it. Go watch the show if you haven’t seen it [by clicking the button. It’s members only, but don’t fret it’s free] and come right back!
You’re back? Good. Where were we? Oh yes, Dammmnnn!!!!!!! I mean are they trying to go through the lesbian sex-handbook. – No pun intended. Jesus! As if to make sure you didn’t miss it, Showtime gave us a close up shot.
All I can say is thank God they placed that scene at the end, because if they hadn’t I wouldn’t have be able to tell you what the f*** went on for the entire hour of the show.
But since they did…
The following is purely MY first impressions and opinions of the show on a weekly basis. So here we go;
First up is Claire. The chick from New York…mmmm! I am convinced that she nuts. She’s got to be crazy for even thinking of leaving her girlfriend….did you see her girlfriend, Vivian?! my second, W-T-F! Now check Francine. See my point? Who the hell is Francine you maybe asking. Well she’s another of the cast members and Claire’s ex-gf of three years.
Wait for it…
they broke up three years ago. Do the math. That’s six fuc*ing years, which is 25 years in lesbian timelines and she’s still holding on. Now of course that is strictly a personal opinion running through here but Holy Fracas Batman! She herself admitted that Vivian’s damn near perfect and that she (Claire) really loves her, so I’m thinking, at best she’s got to be a tool!
The only way I can take her seriously now, is to assume she’s on something! I mean…
Next in line is baby dyke Sadjah. Irene Chaiken’s answer to her critics [every lesbian I know] to TRLW’s 1st season’s lack of diversity. The former straight Barbie doll has only been on the wagon for a year. I know, right! Birdie pickings galore! I have one line for her…cute and fun. It will be like watching a baby cub learning it’s way around. Awkward, error-filled, cute and fast-paced.
Then there’s Romi. Can someone say…hot mess! I mean she gets the shit fucked out of her by Whitney last season, which is cool and all but her current GF, is a fucking cutiepie! How can you not have sex with her for three weeks.
But for those of you that like the fact that Romi seems to get naked for the camera with the drop of a ‘towel’. I’ll give her a semi pass on that one [for now]…and that’s all I have to say on that except can her girlfriend to give me a buzz when she’s done taken shit from Romi, cuz I’ve got a ton of friendz who would like getting them some of that loving!
Is it hot in here or is it just me?
Whitney…[shaking my head] my dear, karma is a bitch. And I would say Whitney is getting a full shit load of it with her merry-go-round on again, off again flame Sara [Sa-dah]. Remember her? The tatooed dancer chick from last season, right! The one that according to Whitney’s best-friend and guru, Alyssa is only using Whitney to get her Camera close ups and get ahead with her career as a hairstylist. Wait. What? I thought she was a stripper dancer?
Anywho. I think you can guess that Alyssa doesn’t like Sara and wouldn’t mind it at all if Rachel – Whitney’s first love, and house-mate for a bit – and Whitney got back together. Which gets me back to the whole Karma thingy…haha! I’m liking this show this season. Yes sir in deed. And I like Rachel, she’s cocky when she declares that she doesn’t care if Whitney’s seeing, dating or cheating on because ‘she will always be the Mary to their Rhoda. I like her!!! [see top for rant and exclamations]
Then there is Francine….arrrhm! To tell you the truth if she didn’t have that tiff with Claire in the ending she would have gone over my head. Maybe she’ll register a blimp later on in the coming EPs.
Now I saved the best for last…finally I can stand and give Irene a clap. She did good with casting Cori and Kacy. I’m a big old softy [stop laughing! grrrh..!] they seriously are a complete 180 from the former stiff bores of the last couple [of which I can’t and don’t want to remember the names too].
They are adorable and with the last shot of the first episode they have me firmly on their side cheering for their success of making a baby after that AH turned them down. Chin up girlz, believe me all that drama is worth it!
Taken at the premiere of Showtime’s “The Real L Word” on June 1, 2011 in West Hollywood, California.